I sat with this a Moonth before writing.
I have just begun to talk to Mitchell about two waves of sadness I feel in recent years.
One is personal, and is more familiar,
usually linked to an event that is understandable —
death of my brother, losses of real importance as we get older
        (these things are happening more frequently, odds are).
They are also less disturbing, or more “normal” and
I can find comfort in the arms of my husband or holding the cats . . .
Crying, too, comes easier.

However, I am aware of a newer sadness that is born of feeling
the collective dysfunction in its various forms.
Insane political moves (from both parties) that impact citizens,
A lack of learning from past mistakes combined with an insidious greed.
Global harming of our creatures, the crazed destruction of our earth —
which we see daily in Oregon in our forests, rivers, and oceans —
cause waves of emotional sadness that run underneath all of us.
There is a numbness in people, the walking dead,
as they are immune to the horrors, the meanness.
For unconscious people, even those in blessed good situations,
they are turning to drugs/alcohol/shopping and
endless television to combat the terrible sadness.
Hence a mountain of prescriptive drugs to “make you sane”, more than ever before.

For those of us who may have a wee bit more consciousness,
I think we feel it and reflect on why we are feeling this.
I have to center, center, center and then, thankfully, Mitchell and I can share this.
Sharing the feeling helps the isolation, because around us people seem immune.
I find ways to stand with one foot in the consciousness of it all,
and make efforts to right the ship if there are any to be made.
Prayer, art made with intention, being kind to those who are angry,
sending compassion, practicing the lojong, and occasionally signing petitions,
though it often feels like a drop in the ocean.
I personally turn to comedy or British mysteries to
distract when I need to, often before bed!

If I had time to paint now I would be painting big crows.

☾

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